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make start page| Are you sexually addicted? | Apr 03, 2008 |
Healthy humans have sexual desires and often low libido is an indicator of a problem either related to psychological or physical factors. However, for many people sexual activity may become a real addiction having negative consequences. Where is the borderline between healthy sexual drive and sexual addiction?
Signs of sexual addiction
First of all, sexual addiction is similar to any other addition, like drugs or alcohol addiction. You might suppose sex addiction if:
- You are constantly focused on having sex, being unable to stop or limit sexual activity
- Your sexual activity interferes with other aspects of your life (work, relationships, family)which become neglected
- You spend a lot of time on sex and activities related to sex (cyber sex, watching pornography etc)
- You engaging in sexual activity that is potentially detrimental, like having health risks and leading to problems in relationships
- You have feelings of guilt and irritability, being unable to stop the sexual activity even knowing it might be inappropriate.
If you notice three or more of the above mentioned symptoms, you are probably having problem with sex addiction.
For many addicts, their sexual behavior is limited to excessive masturbation and use of internet pornography or phone sex. In some cases, the consequences may be more serious when a person becomes obsessed with exhibitionism, unsafe sex, multiple affairs, child molestation and rape, though sex addicts do not necessarily become offenders.
It is important to make difference between sexual addiction and high sexual drive. First of all, a sexually addicted person is first of all in search of pleasure without having feelings of intimacy or any attachment to another person.
Very often after the addict obtained some sexual release, he or she feels guilty and ashamed and promises to never repeat this again. Sexual addict needs sexual pleasure just the same way a drug addict needs drugs. Also, it becomes difficult for him or her to feel really satisfied after sexual contact. For example, woman may constantly feel the dissatisfaction in spite of the fact that she had sequence of orgasms and multiple partners.
How to deal with sexual addiction?
Sexually addictive men and women rarely seek for help as they are unable to control their behavior. Often, their spouse or other family members report about the problem when sexual addiction leads to a threat of divorce or the loss of a job.
If you are a family member or a friend dealing with sexual addiction of your significant other, you might need to realize that this is an illness and if you want to make change in this situation, you might need to stay critical when overcoming the problem.
Treatment of sexual addiction often involves therapy to develop healthy sexuality. Sexual addicts may need to go for individual counseling and marital therapy. In some cases, medications may help in dealing with sexual addiction.
| Stimulation of Male Prostate | Mar 13, 2008 |
Male prostate is a potentially pleasurable area that can bring powerful orgasms to every man. Often referred as P-spot or male G-spot, it can become a source of great enjoyment for men irrespective of their sexual orientation.
Where P-spot is located?
The P-sport or prostate can be found in the rectum, secreting the fluid that forms the semen and plays an important role in ejaculation In order to reach you may use anal penetration, using fingers or sex toys to apply pressure on the front wall of the rectum just similar to the way G-spot is stimulated.
What to use for P-spot stimulation
Exploration of the P-spot involves anal stimulation, thus if you and your partner is open to experience new pleasurable sensations, you may start with anal play. Prostate can be stimulated by fingers, but many men who experienced P-spot stimulation with fingers may want to go on with something bigger. In this case, sex toys for prostate stimulation can be very helpful.
- G-spot toys
It is important to mention that many sex toys used for G-spot stimulation can be also used for P-spot stimulation. The curved shape of the G-spot vibrator or dildo can easily reach the prostate applying the pressure where it is necessary. - Anal toys
Many anal toys like butt plugs, anal probes, and specially designed anal toys are fit to be used for prostate stimulation. Basically, all anal toys have a flared base which prevents them from slipping off in the rectum.
One of the anal toys specifically designed for male prostate is Aneros. The design of this toy is made according to medical research, working perfectly on male body. Anatomic design is ideal for internal as well as external stimulation. - Vibrating anal toys
For additional stimulation, you may use anal vibrators made of different materials. These are the same butt plugs or anal beads that have vibrating element, giving you the opportunity to relax and enjoy the feeling of fullness together with the enjoyable buzz of vibrator.
How to stimulate P-spot
- First you may try to experiment with prostate stimulation on your own, so that you can get to know what feels good to you.
- First of all try to relax, taking a warm bath with mild soap. This will prepare your body for further exploration. Make sure your hands are clean and your fingernails are cut to avoid minor injures.
- Use lubricant for anal play to make penetration smoother. Apply some lubricant on the fingertip and slowly insert it inside anus.
- You will feel the ridged surface, resembling that of a walnut, around two inches inside your anus. Curve your fingers to better reach the desired spot.
- Experiment with different pressure and depth of penetration. Use sex toys that will help you do it better, enjoying pleasant vibrations or firm pressure.
- You may want to feel something bigger than your fingers. Butt plugs add the sensations of fullness so try them to intensify your sensations.
- Ask your partner to stimulate your P-spot. That will be a great way to get more intimate and to discover new ways to share your sexual moments.
| Dating Agency to Find You a Partner by Scent | Feb 08, 2008 |
Opposites attract by smell - this statement might be the key to sexual compatibility. A Boston internet site ScientificMatch.com helps to select your potential mate based on the observation made in 1995 by Claus Wedekind who discovered the chemistry of mate preferences among men and women.
The dating agency analyzes your DNA to find a potential partner with a natural odor that you will like, based on scientific research that suggests that physical chemistry is a major factor that ensures satisfying relationships and compatibility.
Chemistry of sexual attraction
In a well-known experiment called "sweaty t-shirt study", group of female volunteers smelled T-shirts worn by men over two days. All men were required not to use any deodorants, cologne or scented soaps so that female participants could smell their natural odor.
After that he compared men's and women's DNA to find the differences in genes that plays an important role in immune system, called the major histocompatability complex (MHC). Previous studies on mice showed that MHC was a key factor to influence mice sexual attractiveness.
As a result, women did prefered T-shirts of men who had different MHC from their own, which proved the theory that we are attracted to partners with immune system different from ours.
While the attraction between men and women with different immune system was explained, the question was about the possibility of the same response for homosexual partners. Indeed, gay men and lesbian women were found to prefer smell of the partners of their own sex with different immune system.
The only condition when sexual attraction did not work for people with different MHC was in a situation when a woman was taking contraceptive pill. Since the Pill changes hormonal state, these women preferred partners with similar MHC. This can be explained by the fact that Pill mimics pregnancy and pregnant women otherwise prefer to be around people with similar immune system.
How does a scent of love works?
- Healthier Children
It is suggested that attraction of partners with different MHC can be explained by evolutionary purposes. The children of couples with different MHC were healthier due to stronger immune system and better protection from diseases. - Satisfying Sex Life
According to the research conducted by the University of New Mexico men and women with different immune system have more satisfying sex lives. Women were said to be more turned on by their partner and therefore more enthusiastic about sex and less likely to reject their partner's sexual urges. Men also reported to have an increased sexual satisfaction and told that they took more efforts to satisfy their partner. - More Orgasms
The findings of this study also implied that women also reported to have more orgasms with their compatible partner. Earlier it was found that female orgasm increases the chances of a woman to get pregnant and thus ensuring that woman has healthy offspring with genetically compatible partner.
| Sex: Benefits for Your Health | Dec 20, 2007 |
Regular sex was proved to be a good cure from many illnesses. The recent researches say in favor of sex, claiming about health benefits for men and women. It is still not quite clear whether the intercourse has benefits for your health or the intimacy between to partners that contribute to better health. The Fact is that sex on a regular basis can make you healthier and here are the basic benefits of sex:
Colds and flu protection
Regular sex is known to boost your immune system increasing level of the immune-boosting antibody immunoglobin A. This is a good guard of your organism from colds and flu.
Improves fertility
According to the latest study presented at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine conference daily sex improves the quality of sperm and this increases the chances of conception. Earlier it was believed that couples should abstain from sex for some days in order to boost the number of sperm, while later studies proved that sex every day is more effective for men's fertility.
Better sleep
Everyone knows the benefits of a good and sound sleep. Sex helps when you experience difficulty with sleep. After you experienced sensual pleasure, lots of touching and gentle words, your brain and body is in state of pure bliss and relaxation which helps you to fall asleep better. Men are known to fall asleep faster than women due to certain differences. Typically men get sleepy right after ejaculation that triggers the release of hormones.
Good fitness
Having sex in the morning is a great way to keep you in shape. Do not believe that it will make you tired. Otherwise good sex will awaken your body, make you more energetic, improve muscle tone your flexibility. It is like having a morning exercise and even more pleasant.
Strong heart
Sexercises are not only good for your body shape but also for your heart. During lovemaking, the heart beat will increase and this stimulates blood flow. According to a recent research even those who suffer from chronic heart failure can enjoy sex quite regularly. Of course this doesn't mean you should try all the Kamasutra positions at once.
Stress Relief
Stress is one of the most common conditions with all people being affected at some period of their life. Sex is a natural way to relieve stress and daily tension, calming down your nerves. You feel elated and become less nervous. Lovemaking contributes to the release of the "pair-bonding" hormone oxytocin between partners that may explain its calming effect. It was also found that those who engaged in penile-vaginal intercourse regularly were least stresses and had their blood pressure returned to normal quite fast after the intercourse.
Beauty Therapy
In a research conducted by Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, it was revealed that people looking younger their age were also having lots of sex. One of the possible explanations to that may be the increasing estrogen level in women after sex, which makes your skin look fresh and clean and your hair shiny and strong.
| Myths about woman's orgasm | Oct 10, 2007 |
Myth: No orgasm means dissatisfaction
This statement is not always true. More than 30 percent of women do not experience orgasm from time to time, but they are convinced that you can make love without reaching the peak of pleasure. Many of them claim that they experience as much pleasure or even more during the lovemaking. However, in case you never experienced orgasm, this can really become a problem and you may need to discuss it with your partner.
Myth: You can have only one orgasm during the intercourse
Good news is that women are able to experience sequence of orgasms during the intercourse. This however, doesn't mean women really want more than one orgasm at one session. But when you in the mood for something hotter than one sizzling orgasm, then give yourself some minutes to rest and start all over again.
Myth: Vaginal orgasm is more powerful than clitoral
No matter what brings you to orgasm, all that can be said is that no one can tell if orgasm from clitoral stimulation is less enjoyable than from penetration. Some specialists say that there is only one orgasm - the one that comes from your brain. Just remember that there is a nocturnal orgasm which happens without any stimulation. Of course, some people would easier achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation while others will be faster with penetration either anal or vaginal.
Myth: The longer intercourse the better
There is no need to keep track of the time when having sex. Sex is not a marathon and time is not a sign of better performance. Of course, it's good when you have enough time to reach the big O and and enjoy sexual encounter in full, but probably the most important factor for reaching an orgasm is a right mood. If you are attuned to sexual pleasure you can expect orgasm quite soon.
Myth: Partners should learn to orgasm simultaneously
Many partners are convinced that only simultaneous orgasm brings intimacy and true feeling of satisfaction. But as soon as they try to engage in love play they make all efforts to synchronize their performance and often it results in total frustration. Why does it happen? The thing is that when you are concentrated on something besides sexual sensations during love play, you first of all lose a connection with your partner and no longer feel the drift of pleasure. Ask yourself- do you really need to experience orgasm at the same time your partner does or pleasure counts more than timing?
Myth: Orgasm with a partner is a real orgasm
Of course no one is going to underestimate the importance of good satisfying sexual relationships with your partner, but again your ability to experience orgasm with your partner is not always an indicator of your sexual well-being. Many women report having orgasm during masturbation only because they need direct clitoral stimulation they cannot have during the intercourse. You may not have enough experience to help you achieve orgasm with a partner but that doesn't mean that orgasms you achieve by yourself are not true. It's your body and only you can know what is best for your pleasure.
| Women feel embarrassed about masturbation | Sep 03, 2007 |
Women are quite comfortable talking about their intimate life with a partner but masturbation remains a taboo topic for most of them.
According to the results of Japanese magazine Cyzo, women in their 20s and 30s consider masturbation acceptable for men only, while only 56 percent of them said that masturbation is natural for them.
Many women were not only confused to talk about masturbation but considered this experience "embarrassing","dirty" and for lonely and desperate women only.
Japanese sex therapist Kim Myung Gun said that an uneasy feeling most women have about masturbation are connected with their unconscious fears to disclose their inner self. While for men , masturbation is accompanied by ejaculation, for women "all the pleasure remains inside them" and thus consider that talking about this practice means revealing their inner self.
Dr. Kim said that family environment has its crucial impact on woman's attitude towards masturbation. If for example, a girl grew up in a family were parents didn't get on well and mother displays a negative attitude towards men, she can become more inhibited in her approach to masturbation and sex in general.
Dr Kunio Kitamura, working in Japan Family Clinic Association Clinic studied the peculiarities of men's and woman's sexuality and said women are too shy when it comes to their own pleasure. Many women who come to Dr. Kitamura are concerned about their performance in bed and fear that men can consider them "cold". However, almost all women who masturbate can reach orgasm. Thus women who are afraid of practicing self-love may never have a chance to know their sexual responses and direct a man to achieve maximum pleasure.
| Male Ejaculation FAQ | Jul 30, 2007 |
Ejaculation frequency
There has been a lot of discussion on the issue regarding frequency of ejaculations and prostate cancer. Earlier it was believed that excessive masturbation with subsequent ejaculation may lead to prostate cancer but recent studies disproved this fact and suggested that on the contrary the risk of prostate cancer reduces with higher frequency of ejaculations.
Some men believe that any sexual activity should always lead to ejaculation for health reasons. However, it is not necessary and one should not ejaculate more often to be healthier.
Ejaculation and orgasm: is it the same?
Ejaculation and orgasm are not the same things. Usually both go together, but you cannot associate orgasm with the act of ejaculation as there are situations when ejaculation happens without orgasm. For example,a nocturnal emission also referred to as ejaculation during sleep that often happens during puberty and sometimes in older age is not a result of any sexual activity.
Thus, it can be said that ejaculation refers more to physical side of sexual release while orgasm means the sensation.
How much ejaculate is enough?
Average volume of ejaculate is about a teaspoon and may vary from 1,5 to 5 ml.
The amount of ejaculate is individual, also depending on different factors, however many men wish they could ejaculate more or question whether the amount of semen they emit is normal. In this regard it is important to take into account many things that can affect the amount of ejaculate.
First of all, the amount of semen is not the same for even one man. Very often men ejaculate more with longer period of sexual abstinence. Amount of male ejaculate decreases with the frequency of intercourses or masturbation.
Usually, men will have lower amount of semen with the age. The older a man is, the less semen he is likely to produce.
Another factor that affects sperm volume is a degree of sexual excitement a man experiences before ejaculation. Usually high arousal or longer foreplay results in larger amount of ejaculate but again other things like the amount of water a man drinks daily or individual variations can play just the same role.
Ejaculation problems: what is normal?
Almost every man was at one time or another concerned about ejaculation. The most common problems that occur are premature ejaculation, when a man ejaculates too soon, delayed ejaculation, when a man otherwise has difficulty achieving ejaculation or dry ejaculation meaning no ejaculation during orgasm.
All these problems may not a be a subject for concern as ejaculation is not simply a mechanical thing to happen every time a man has sex with or without partner. As it was said, many factors can influence ejaculation, physical or mental. For example premature ejaculation happens in three out of ten men on average, and most adolescents are familiar with premature ejaculation. many of these young men will learn to sustain longer with experience and the problem disappears.
In many cases, you should worry only in a situation when any of the ejaculation problems occurs too often, like in more than 25 percent of time.
Very often a man himself make the problem grow, as ejaculation problems often lead to anxiety that prevent any relaxation and thus making it difficult to cope with the problem. In this situation counsellings can be a way out if self help doesn't work.
| Rubik's Cube sex - twist and turn sexobatics | Jul 12, 2007 |
Rubik's Cube sex that is believed to surpass well-known Kamasutra was introduced by a Japanese sexologist who suggests trying a very playful way to spice up relationships.
Adam Tokunaga, a sex expert, came with the idea of Rubik's Cube sex, that means going though different sex positions providing both partner's genitals are conjoined. It resembles well-known puzzle game where the right solution is find through series of different twists.
As he explains, this method is a good way to heighten sexual pleasure. The aim of good sex is to create a special connection. This is especially important for women, who need more time for their sexuality to thrive.
During sexual act, partners exchange their energies not simply copulate. Tokunada says that in order to derive the best from Rubik's Cube technique, one should make love in harmony and in order to create this special environment partners should stay connected to let the energy flow between them.
He also urges all men to change their view on sex as "insertion and ejaculation" only. When partner's penis stays inside woman's vagina it helps them both stay in tune with each other.
The sexologist recommends to begin with 30 minutes of foreplay proceeding to 30 minutes of penetration. When a man penetrates a woman he shouldn't withdraw his penis while changing position but otherwise stay inside while slowly moving like in a dance. As partners move, penis stimulates woman's sensitive zones under different angles. The ultimate goal of such sessions is more fulfilling sex and more interaction between partners.
| Orgasm during sleep | Jul 05, 2007 |
Sometimes you don't need to wait for orgasm to occur, as it happens absolutely involuntarily – during sleep. What is nocturnal emission? Why do some people experience orgasm during sleep? And what are differences between men and women in this phenomenon?
While you were sleeping...
Orgasm during sleep, also referred to as "nocturnal emission", "nocturnal sex dreams", "nocturnal orgasm" and "wet dreams" is described as sexual release that is observed after awakening. In men the fact of nocturnal orgasm is more evident as it is accompanied by ejaculation.
Orgasm during sleep is considered to be quite common sexual experience. First, nocturnal orgasm in women was mistakenly regarded a sign of neurotic disorder, but later this fact was disproved. Another interesting suggestion in respect to orgasm during sleep was that it is a mechanism compensating for a lack of sexual activity. However, there was no evidence to support this fact too.
How does orgasm during sleep occur?
It was discovered that spontaneous orgasm during sleep was in most cases a result of sexual dreams, especially when speaking of males. These dreams often have a "taste of forbidden", where a sleeping person often has sexual intercourse in situations that seem unacceptable during conscious state. For example, people have sex dreams when they engage in group sex or sex with their relatives. The occurrence of such dreams is explained by the fact that in unconscious state during sleep our conscious control weakens giving way to our deep sexual urges.
Orgasm during sleep - fast facts:
- Many women achieve orgasm much faster during sleep than during a conscious state.
- It is not surprising that men and women have orgasms during sleep as sexual arousal does not sleep. Men can have up to six erections during an eight-hour sleep and women's genitals get lubricated almost with the same frequency.
- There is no evidence to prove that nocturnal orgasm is peculiar to particular age group. Though according to Kinsey research, men report the most nocturnal orgasms during their teenage and early 20's. Women have wet dreams more frequently during their 40s.
- Interesting enough, the same Kinsey research showed that for women number of nocturnal orgasms increased if they had more "conscious" orgasms.
- Around 90% of men and less than 40% of women said they had orgasm during sleep.
- Some people will have nocturnal orgasms during their lifetime while others start experiencing them at particular age.
Do men really have more orgasms during sleep?
Though all the findings regarding nocturnal orgasms show that men experience orgasm during sleep more frequently, this difference can be more due to the difficulty monitoring female orgasm during the sleep.
- Anatomical differences may predispose men to have more orgasms as any unconscious movements can easier stimulate male genitals then female one's as they are not so exposed to stimulation.
- Men are more aware of their nocturnal orgasms as they ejaculate during sleep while women cannot say exactly if they experienced orgasm or not.
| First timers, contraception and regrets | Jul 03, 2007 |
More than 25 percent of people in the UK ignore the rules of safer sex when loosing their virginity.
According to Durex Global Survey, where more than 26,000 people took part in a study of various aspects of sexuality and sexual health, teenage virgins were more likely to practice safer sex than those aged over 20. Poll results showed that 80% of youngsters of 16 to 19 years old used protection during first time sex , in comparison with 60% of young men and women of 20 to 25 and 50 % of those over 25 year olds.
If compared to respondents aged over 65, teenagers now are 8 times more likely to use contraception than elderly people.
These findings suggest that measures aimed at increasing safe sex awareness are quite effective nowadays. Contraception was not so widely used even 40 years ago when contraception was not always available and sex after marriage was the choice for most people.
According to the Durex Global Survey, Greece was on top of all countries with 88 % of virgins using contraception for their first sexual experience. Other countries among those practicing safer sex for first time sex was Poland with 86% and Thailand with 84%. Around 74% of first timers from UK used protection. As much as 60 percent of people from US, Australia and France were using protection.
As for gender differences, on average women were 25% more likely to take care about protection but were reporting about being pressured to do so.
The average age when people lose their virginity is 19,25 years old. The oldest to have first time sex were Malaysian people who lose their virginity on average at 23 and the youngest were Austrians – at 17,3.
As much as half of all women respondents said they were disappointed with their first time sexual experience.
Experts say that the results of the survey show that more attention should be given to teenagers as well as older people.
| Born Between a Man and a Woman Finally Got the Surgery | Jul 02, 2007 |
A woman from Houston who was born intersexual underwent a surgery for complete vaginal construction after a long fight for her gender identity.
Jessica's story
Jessica, who asked to use only her first name for privacy, had a rare condition called partial androgen insensitivity syndrome from her birth. Having first partially female and male genitals, with her body chromosomally male but resistant to male hormones, she waited for the surgery all her life.
Now, Jessica, 21 year old woman had a very complicated 11 hour surgery that was her dream since her adolescence. She was born with the genitals that resembled underdeveloped penis or enlarged clitoris with gonads but no vaginal opening.
Those born with this rare condition usually look like females but do not have internal organs for reproduction as females do. When she was 18 month, doctors did some corrections to her appearance, removing the gonads, correcting her urinary tract and making her external genitals resemble female ones. Jessica had been taking hormones to make her breasts grow.
In adolescence she realized her difference from the peers. She hid the truth about her condition for many years, knowing that it could arouse unhealthy interest. She always felt like a girl and wanted to have a complete vaginoplasty to end with ambiguousness of her body. Her mother lost insurance cover and Jessica had to work part-time to make her dream come true. Finally, several months ago, a doctor Lawrence Cisek from Texas Children's Hospital agreed to perform the surgery.
This type of surgery is extremely rare so that the doctor decided to videotape it as a tutorial to other experts dealing with intersexual patients. The procedure was performed with the laparascopic technique where a piece of colon was transplanted to form a vagina. The surgery was almost a whole day long with the recovery period of more than six weeks. If everything goes right, Jessica should be able to feel and function like a typical woman of her age.
Intersex
The condition known as hermaphroditism or AIS is met in one or two out of 1,000 births, according to 2000 survey of medical literature. Usually, the condition was kept in secret as a doctor decided on the gender after birth performing a surgery and prescribing the intersex person the lifetime hormones. However, this situation underwent some changes in last years. More and more patients are waiting till late childhood to make a decision on gender identity.
Sheri Berenbaum, a psychologist from Pennsylvania State University and a member of North American Task Force on Intersex said that the matter becomes even more complicated as many doctors cannot decide on the right time for the surgery as well as evaluating many other factors that can become crucial for the final decision.
| Sexual satisfaction - the facts from Durex Global Survey | Jun 27, 2007 |
Durex, a leading manufacturer of condoms conducted a world-wide survey on sexual well-being. More than 26,000 people from 26 countries took part in study that questioned the respondents about their sexual lives focusing on sexual satisfaction aspect.
The Durex Sex Survey was conducted during a period between August and September 2006 with some of the results revealed to the public now. Men and women over 16 were invited to take part in the survey and share their experience for better understanding of sexual wellbeing and factors that are important for sexual satisfaction.
A questionnaire that was comprised with the help of Harris Interactive was designed and reviewed several times to ensure it was clear for participants and culturally relevant.
The results of the insight into sexual satisfaction from around the world were presented in the first report.
Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey Overview
Frequency of sex (number of times having sex per year)
- Greece 164
- Brazil 145
- Poland, Russia 143
- USA 114
- Japan 48
The Greeks headed the world with the frequency of sex while Japan was left far behind all the other countries. the global average was 103 times per year.
Sexual satisfaction
- Nigeria- 67 %
- Mexico -63%
- India-61 %
- Poland-54%
- Hong Kong 29 %
- France 25 %
- Japan-15 %
Nigeria was on top for the most satisfied nation, followed by Mexico and India. The least happy about their sex lives were Japanese and French. The average percent for sexual satisfaction worldwide is 44 percent.
The longest and the quickest sex
- Nigeria (the longest) -24 minutes
- USA-20 minutes
- India (the quickest)-13 minutes
The global average for the length of sexual session is 18 minutes.
Number of respondents having orgasm
The most orgasmic were South Africa respondents- two thirds of them claimed to have orgasm quite regularly. The average worldwide was 48 percent. Twice as many men as women reported to have orgasm on a regular basis. people aged 65 plus had the most orgasms.
| A beginner's guide to tantric sex | Jun 26, 2007 |
Long and sensual lovemaking is not a myth for those who got to know the art of tantric sex. So what is tantric sex and how to make every encounter special?
First of all, it is worth mentioning that tantric sex is a practice that is aimed at developing your sensuality and sexuality on a higher level. Average intercourse lasts 2 minutes that is hardly satisfying for a woman who is needs more time to achieve orgasm.
Prolonging pleasure for an hour or several hours may seem a difficult task but not for those who practice tantric sex. So what are the main principles of tantric sex?
- It's better to practice tantric sex with a one partner because this practice requires good knowledge of each other's sexual needs, tastes and habits.
- Circumstances play a great role for tantric sex as any interference, like slightest noise can break the ecstatic unity of both partners. The best time for tantric practice is day.
- Both partners should be open to express their sexuality. If you feel like crying or moaning you should by no means repress your impulses and give in to every sexual feeling freely. There is no room for feelings of embarrassment or guilt as sex is natural expression.
- Sexual encounter, including foreplay, petting, and intercourse last as long as it possible, but it is recommended at least two hours of continous lovemaking. This doesn't mean you should set the time – but you should keep in your mind that lasting longer is preferable to achieve the desired effect.
- All the movements should be easy, without any tension. The easier you make love the less tiresome sexual act is as when you feel comfortable you do not notice time thus you only concentrate on pleasure.
Tantric sex - how to start
In order to understand all the peculiarities of tantric sex practice, you need a lot of time and patience. Of course, if you don't need to devote your life to tantric sex if you don't feel like it, but some exercises can be very helpful in your sex life.
Improve your sensual perception
The first step to learn tantric practice is to develop all your senses; sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. The main goal is trying to focus on the details of the things. You can for example, take various products to smell and taste: a slice of bread, a lemon, an orange, cucumber, various spices trying to define the peculiarities of each edible. During such experiments you become more sensual and prepare yourself for the next stage of sexual exploration.
Explore your body
Here your goal is to learn your body, enjoying looking at it without shame. You need to take off the clothes and look at yourself in the mirror. Just imagine that you look at another person, not trying to be critical but looking more with interest at yourself. You should accept your body, touching it and loving every inch of it. The same is done to your partner- you need to smell and taste, feel the curves of your partner's body before you even begin an intercourse.
Control your sexual desires
Next step in practicing tantric sex is to sexual self-control. You need to undress in front of each other, touching each other and caressing each other's bodies. When you feel that arousal is high you need to take a rest and breather deeply, then repeat the same over again. Next time you may proceed to penetration but this should be done step by step. First penetration can be done without any movement, lasting until partners erection fades. Later you begin slow thrusting prolonging your partner's pleasure. As soon as you learn this small tricks you are ready for a storming orgasm where both of you merge in ecstatic sensation of one unity.
| A Boost of Sex Dreams for Contemporary Women | Jun 15, 2007 |
Women now have considerably more sexual dreams if compared to the past 40 years. This can be due to the fact that women become more comfortable reporting the fact of sexual dream or due to the unknown leap in the frequency of sexual dreams.
The latest research was conducted by Universite de Montreal that was studying more than 3,500 home dreams of men and women. The results showed that both men and women dream about sex about 8 percent of time, but the figure for women is much higher if compared to 40 years ago period. The researches suppose that women became more open-minded and report about their sex dreams more often.
In spite of the fact that women dream of sex just as often as men, the content of these dreams is different. The most common sex dreams involved sexual intercourse, masturbation, kissing and other sexually explicit content. Many women and mean said they achieved an orgasm during dreaming. Women unlike men also reported orgasm experienced by another dream person in 4 percent of cases.
The most common character in women's sex dreams were public figures, ex-lovers and current partners. Men dream less of the present or ex lovers, but more of multiple partners, the study says.
The findings of the research can help the researchers understand the peculiarities of male and female sexuality and sexual need. Antonio Zadra, PhD, of the Universite de Montreal, said that results may prove the hypothesis that dreams reflect our daily thoughts and concerns. Differences in sexual dreams content indicate the same differences in men's and women's desires and experiences.
The study will be presented at at SLEEP 2007, the 21st annual meeting of the Associated Professional Sleep Societies (APSS).
| Food play - a tasty treat | May 28, 2007 |
Dinner or sex? You can choose both to have one of the most sensual lovemaking experiences. Whenever you choose to have a special night, food play can add extra spice to the usual sexual encounter.
What do you need for food play?
Anything that appeals to your tastes can be appropriate for food play. Taste is one of the most important senses during lovemaking, that‛s why the most senses are involved the more colorful and intense your experience can be.
- However not every food you like can fit the erotic atmosphere. You don‛t need to move on your dinner table on your partner‛s body- the goal is to make your experience more sensual, not to have a three-course meal.
- Creamy and sweet food is the most common choice for amorous lovers. Take whipped cream, chocolate sauce, liqueurs, fruits, honey, ice-cream or anything else that can be easily spread over the body and then erotically licked off.
- Some partners have a taste for more spicy food rather than sweet. You can use salad dressings or hot spices like chili to enhance the play.
- You may need a cover to cover the bed in order to make it easier for you to clean after play. You may also use wipes to remove the remnants of the food.
Food play tips:
- Lay your partner down on his chest or back and take the dessert you are going to apply on his body. You may need to have all the food handy so that not to interrupt the play.
- Use intricate patterns to decorate your partner‛s body. You may use whipped cream and fruits, seafood and salad dressing or chocolate with ice-cream to draw your own tasty masterpiece.
- Spread the food around the most sensitive spots of your partner. For her it can be breasts(the thicker amount on nipples), navel, inner thighs, pubis and for him the most delight will be on his chest, down the navel, thighs and any other part that could feel hot.
- Try cold and hot play to intensify the sensations. Take an ice cream in your mouth and wait till it melts. Lick your partner‛s genitals or other area while your tongue is still a bit cold.
- Before you run your lips and tongue over his or her body, try to tease your partner eating the food with spoon. The touch of cold metal may add special pleasure to your partner‛s lingering over the the delightful process. Savoring the food in your mouth making him or her wait for the next step.
- Try to make your food play even more sensual, dropping honey or chocolate on your partner‛s body when he or she is blindfolded. The sweet feeling of not knowing what happens next is what you need for the ultimate pleasure.
| Your introduction to foreplay | May 18, 2007 |
Foreplay is highly appreciated by men and women as it's not only an essential part of making you ready for the intercourse but also is the best way to show your affection towards partner. Nothing brings in so much pleasure and colors to lovemaking as foreplay, besides you can always vary the forms of foreplay introducing different erotic plays to make every session unique and sensual.
Why do we need foreplay?
Pleasant atmosphere
Foreplay gives an opportunity for both partners to create sensual air and distract from unnecessary things that can interfere in physical connection.
Arousal
For many women foreplay is necessary condition to become ready for penetration and in a lot of cases foreplay can become a direct path to orgasm. During a foreplay women's genitals are getting lubricated and men achieve an erection.
Body exploration
Partners learn a good deal about each others bodies during foreplay, one's preferences and sexual responses. They become more familiar with likes and dislikes and begin to communicate on a physical and emotional level better.
What can you do during foreplay?
It's up to you to make a foreplay match your needs and in most cases a man and a woman who engage in foreplay may instinctively choose a way to please a partner and derive most pleasure from kissing, caressing each others sensitive zones with hands or mouth or using sex toys.
Foreplay is also not simply a physical activity but also highly gratifying mentally and emotionally. The only thought that you are giving your partner the greatest pleasure or he or she awakens your sexuality can be as arousing as touch. No wonder many sex games are appreciated by men and woman of various ages. keep in mind that foreplay begins in the brain, thats why the best way to start is to talk to your partner and make him or her feel desirable.
What time is required for a foreplay?
There is not such a thing as right time for foreplay. Many sexologists claim that women need more time for foreplay but this issue is very individual and depends on personal attitude, sexual temperament, sexual circumstances, experience and a lot of other things. In fact, one woman can enjoy long foreplay one time and be ready for intercourse with little or no time next time.
The biggest mistake men and women do is to keep to one "push the right button" method during foreplay. Foreplay is not a technical way to bring your partner to orgasm – but more a part of the whole process of making sexual contact more satisfying.
Interesting fact
Scientists taking part in the research of sexual arousal found out that women on average are no different from men when it comes to the time of foreplay. Experts from McGill University Health Centre in Montreal, Canada revealed that irrespective of the gender, people reach the peak of sexual arousal within 10 minutes if they watched sexually explicit movies or pictures. Tuuli Kukkonen and her colleagues from McGill University Health Centre used thermal imaging to record temperature in genitals of men and women.
Participants (28 men and 30 women) were watching different videos from pornography to comedy naked with their genitals exposed. The computer records that were used for the experiment showed that individual‛s baseline temperature increased by 2°C when watching pornography. The difference between men‛s and women‛s temperatures was not significant.
| Sex differences: from brain to sex drive | May 08, 2007 |
The conclusion of the Sex ID Internet survey conducted by BBC revealed sex differences in people's mental abilities, sexual behavior and physical characteristics.
The extensive BBC research together United Kingdom and American scientists has become a part of TV documentary Secrets of the Sexes. More than 250,000 people irrespective of their sexual orientation from around the world took part in the survey from the initial three months and the overall study took more 2 years.
The results were published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Preferences of the partner
Traits that most people seek in a partner are honesty, intelligence, humor, kindness, attractiveness and communication skills. However, men ranked attractiveness higher that women who put such values as sense of humor, honesty and kindness in the first place.
Sex drive
Woman high libido would be equally attracted towards same and the opposite sex partners. For a man high sex drive means the attraction towards one or another sex only.
Brain
Mental abilities are prone to decline with the age that refers to men to a greater degree than women, which means it's more likely for women's mental functioning stay keener with the age.
Men would also show better results on mental rotation tests, while women are good at word fluency and have better memory on object location.
Homosexual men and lesbian women are likely to have visual spatial abilities that would resemble the opposite sex's abilities: homosexual men like women and lesbian like men's mental skills.
Sexual orientation and control handedness
It was found that there is a certain link between the handedness and sexual orientation. Those who considered themselves bisexual happened to be ambidextrous(having both hands dominating).
| My first man was a dildo or where virginity ends | Feb 21, 2007 |
Is your virginity precious to you? Or you'd rather break the hymen as soon as possible? In fact, there can be so many reasons for you to lose virginity and ways to fulfill your plans.
While some women take pains to find a back-way and undergo hymen repair surgery to recover the lost cherry, others urge to say long farewell to their virginity.
But as the process is claimed to be "unpleasant and painful" aside from the fact that emotional factor may play its biggest role as well, many girls choose a better way to lose virginity with the help of sex toys.
No need to say that adult industry is vast and adult stores are not a "shameful place" any more. We live in a world where everyone has a right to express his or her sexuality in different ways. And sex toys stores offer us the chance to go beyond the borders of human contact. What a sex toy has to offer you? Of course, you may use it for self stimulation or to experiment with a partner, but you can as well begin your intimate life with a sex toy.
Nowadays Internet is flooded with messages like:
"I am 25 year old and had no sexual relationships. I want to lose my virginity but I am quite scared. All my friends are already non-virgins and I simply think that my boyfriend would be shocked to know that I never had any partners, as if no one noticed me or something. I thought about losing my virginity with a dildo. What would you recommend me?"
That is not a single e-mail written to one of online sex toys stores. Girls from their early teenage to their late twenties are more and more eager to have their first intercourse with a sex toy rather than a man. Why?
In fact the reasons can be different:
- It's high time to make it
- It's safe (you won't get STD's and you won't end up with unwanted pregnancy)
- You won't be hurt emotionally
- You are more in control of the situation( no one can push you for this act)
- You are free to choose a place and time
Does this idea now sound more appealing than a "usual way" of loosing cherry? To many first-timers it really is. But then another question arises: Will you mark your virginity by the physical act of breaking hymen with a dildo or you will still remain virgin?
It's all about the meaning you put into the term virginity. For example, you've kissed, you've hugged, you've touched each others hands, you've touched each other's breasts, genitals...did it go too far or not yet? Both of you are enjoying oral sex, masturbating in each other's presence, had some "backdoor play"- do you still consider yourself to be virgin? You eventually purchased a dildo and had penetration. So is it a final word for your virginity? It's up to you to decide.
Starting sexual relationships is an important step and your sexuality may find various ways to manifest itself. You may lose virginity with a finger, dildo, cucumber, banana or any other object and declare yourself a "physical non-virgin". Or you may have your first sexual intercourse with a man you don't love. It's all the matter of one's own individual choice.
| Top ten orgasmic facts | Dec 21, 2006 |
1. Orgasms with most sad consequences
French people often compare orgasm with a "little death" meaning that we unconsciously loose the feeling of reality and yourself. And in some cases death can actually happen during the most pleasant moment.According to numerous scientific researches it has been reported that orgasm can cause various body reactions that may border on such conditions as loss of consciousness, damages of organs, sensory deprivation and even death.
2. The average amount of orgasms through a lifetime
One of the German scientists Mr. Dergen found out that men experience around 9,3 hours of orgasm through their lifetime while women spend considerably less – 1.4 hours on average. The Sun magazine published that this may be due to the fact that men are more inclined to achieving sexual pleasure. Mr. Dergen claims that female orgasms are quite useless as men produce sperm during orgasm while women don't need to have an orgasm in order to get pregnant.
3. Intellect and orgasm
Canadian researches studied women between 14 and 44 years old with different educational level and found out that well-educated and intelligent women (about 55%) are more likely to experience difficulty in achieving orgasm.
At the same time women who have only secondary-level education (70%) are in most cases satisfied with their intimate life and experience orgasm more often than those mentioned above.
4. Female multiple orgasms
Women who are able to experience several orgasms at one session are a rare case, though hardly one can compare with a woman who had 100 orgasms in one hour. In one of Playboy magazine interviews there was reported that a woman was able to experience several hundreds of big Os but... this can be all due to the effect of LSD.
5. Sexual arousal and orgasms
Lately it has been reported that a number of women with persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) is insistently growing. Such women experience orgasm from the slightest stimulation like an eventual touch to their body or from the minor vibrations of a cell phone or an alarm clock. Women themselves are not quite happy with this fact as this makes them hide their orgasms from the public eye.
6. Average duration of orgasm
We take pains to get to the highest peak of pleasure and learn a lot of techniques to make this moment come true. And all these for several seconds or to say it more precisely 3-5 seconds long orgasm for men and 5-8 seconds for women.
7. Masturbation and orgasm
It doesn't matter for our brain what way you choose to reach the highest peak of pleasure. Even when you resort to masturbation, the imaginary partner works for our ability to get the desired satisfcation. Though a brain activity will fade much faster after orgasm achieved by masturbation than if it were during an intercourse with a partner.
And this doesn't seem to be surprising as after you return from dreams were you had sex with your inexistent partner you have not so much reasons for excitement. Curious enough women need about four times less time to reach orgasm during solo sex than they need it during the intercourse. Besides, for females masturbation leads to orgasm in 95 % of cases, while partner sex results in big O only in 42% of cases.
8. Brain activity during orgasm
Another interesting fact was discovered by Gert Holstege one of the researches of University of Groningen in the Netherlands who studied peculiarities of brain activity during female orgasm. The result was astonishing - literally saying, almost the whole area of brain was "dead". The only part of brain that remained more or less active was cerebellum that is responsible for movement coordination.
The more so, all the attempts to get the answer to any simple questions, like "How old are you?" or "What time of the year is it now?" were in vain. Women who were tested were not even able to say any articulate words. The most they could utter were indistinct sighs and convulsive movements. This fact reveals another revolutionary conclusion: women's total turn-off of the brain activity during orgasm is all due to reproduction instinct, which is more important than survival instinct.
9. Types of orgasm
Again women seem to win the race for having at least eleven different types of orgasm: vaginal, clitoral, G-spot, blended (clitoral plus vaginal), anal, multiple, fake, urethral, nocturnal (orgasm during sleep), simultaneous, nipple... and there may be even more if you take part in the upcoming global orgasm event on 22d of December.
